F.e.e.l.i.n.g. .s.o.r.r.y. .f.o.r. .y.o.u.r.s.e.l.f. .d.o.e.s.n.'.t. .d.e.s.e.r.v.e. .a.n. .e.n.t.r.y. .i.n. .s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g. .l.i.k.e. .t.h.i.s....

I've been defeated by the washed lickers
The pewter bankers and the kind cavemen
The jr. lollipop roadrunners
The carnivore ballers and the makeshift picklers
The ones with thicker teeth and those with thinner brains
Defeated by the whispering blue-collar milkmen
The cuffed adventurers and the one-time flying crafters
The exclusive silk ringbearers
The puzzled peacemakers and the crimpled voices
The ones with the destitute ideas and those who have enough for 54 soup kitchens

By everyone but me, and so I raise the colored flag

Plastic Glass Face

Attention now my plastic glass face
Old giver of wag rags
What have you!
?
A furnace? Aged, wise blocks? Less than needed?
A spiral to the lagoon you are.
Easily shaved like ice
Easily split topped like a dull block
Blocked as a robot
Give it two go's and a medium bronze champagne
My plastic glass face
Stop your forces, hand them over to charity, and swish in your swashes while you're here and
Remember
You're a face
One that will change with grooming hurdles

 ( The stuff in your brain   < The stuff in your head )
Note: In this example " < " could refer to less than or easier to deal with

Not race or color, creed or class.

When we were 6 years old, we all spotted a UFO soaring through the sky which then quickly disappeared into the sun even though the adult next to you said it was an airplane.

 "Knock-knock"

"Who's there?"

 "Hula"

 "Hula who?"

 "peh"

Y e a h , i t ' s  p r o b a b l y   j u s t   f a c t u a l .

B u t   t h a n k   G o d   i t   i s n ' t .

Mechanic's Mechanics

Crispen landwagons' wheels spin as the asphalt folds undertoe
Long before the herald heralds
Grease spills prevented them mostly before
Which will maybe again
In time and given time and provoided with flourescents


Right are spirited tigers and up are switches to turn them on for good
Or at least today
And today is part of it
If not all
And the painter paints

If there's ! and :  ) does there have to be ? or bitter &*@%

Donut fret. The icing and sprinkles will be here soon...

Caution Toodles

The willed calvary has a rough outer shell as they wait for their taxi
Playing games of checkers and wrong hopscotch in the 80's
Wearing thick jeans and coconuts
And why care? no bother to scuffle by and say "toodles!"  - cause we'll see you again soon
Never wondering where, but why

Pictures....and pictures...and pictures.

There are big pictures: hope, the world, willpower, Mother Nature, time, youth, harmony, shelter, fantasy, humanity, circumstance, water, violence, disease, virtue, mathematics

There are medium pictures: multivitamins, direct flights, apostrophes, hang gliding, Dick Clark, waterfalls, alfredo, Toledo, OH, grapevines, Alice in Wonderland, eskimo pie, glow sticks, inside jokes

There are small pictures: when the electric company misspelled your last name on your bill and the change makes it sound really dirty, Swiss cheese from the deli counter that has wayyy too many holes in it, like more than normal, and you feel jipped, staring so long at a cloud that your eyes begin to itch and water and you don't do anything about it because it's a perfect moment that shouldn't be disturbed, accidently, but sort of purposely wearing slippers to the grocery store, feeding pigeons downtown and seagulls at the beach directly in front on the sign that says to not feed them, the guy who seems pretentious, but really isn't, when he lights his cigarette with a magnifying glass, trying to keep a laugh under your breath when you're talking to someone on the phone and they pronounce a word really wrong, in an accidental fake-British accent, but you can't hold it back

>>> KNOCK KNOCK
>>> WHO'S THERE?
>>> A SLEW OF GIRL SCOUTS SELLING COOKIES. I THINK I'M GONNA BUY SOME THIN MINTS AND A BOX OF WHATEVER THE PEANUT BUTTER ONES ARE CALLED
>>> OH COOL, YEAH, DEFINITELY. I'LL GO RUN AND GRAB YOU SOME MONEY.

Blue Dolphin Extension

When a flipping bird stings me
And the crescent horn blows to the dead-ended outlet
It's a muddy kind of toss-up, as the bulldozers have always had a way of never knowing
Even though neither do we

It's a good unknowledge on the beach
I don't mind waving and staring at the smiling, rubber dolphin
I could catch him at any time

And with that glow we are a salted shore
And stare at a willow tree, in a ray of beaming glow, as it waits for us with a penciled crossword

Now granted, there could be delays, hardships, and malfunctions, however, get ready for use smiley emoticon...

Q ~ How many gamblers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A ~ One, but he used the bulb from the ceiling fan that was about to burn out and now that one's empty.

Freezer Soup for All

For all of the too-much-wine horses and blue-bellied tiger lillies
For all of the dirt canopy dresses and saw-cut marble banisters
For all of the greasy salads and hunched queens
For all of the shaky, cranky lovers and bitter buttercups
For all of the twisted telephone wires and uninhibited car alarms

For all
It's good the way you live
It's good the way you are

The shelf life of an egg carton, or the lime crate, or the wafer shelves. I forget about these things...

What some may or may not realize is that although texting while driving can be very dangerous, texting while on the toilet requires equal caution.

I don't know what the next frontier is. I figure one new frontier would be to something virtual. Maybe where you strap on goggles that have all sorts of viewing channels. Some would be round-the-clock Jeopardy repeats, literature that pops up instantly on the screens such as picture books on birds and Woman's Day magazine backprints, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, live webcam footage of about a dozen waterfalls scattered throughout the Pacific Northwest, live webcam footage of about a dozen covered bridges scattered throughout the rural Midwest, an option to see out of the goggles in case you want to wear them while driving, the spiraly, sporadic, rainbow patterns that music players create on the computer, googly eyes that appear on both the inside and outside, real time film of what you look like while wearing them (which is really confusing while you're trying to walk around. Then again, most of these are...), a birthday cake with the number of candles of your choice which you can then blow out, bootleg footage of pizza dough spinning competitions, recurrent nightmares that you hate having but are tempted to see again anyway, and 80's Pay-Per-View.
Or something along those lines. So much has been done before.

Faith in signs, and making it real by seeing others'.

"You're an animal..."

"I know...I'm living with it. "

"You HAVE to think about how you look and act , don't you?"

"I hardly think about how I'll feel, only how I feel. I'd imagine the first'd have to come before the looking and acting"

One thing I like doing every day is to make lists. Some lists are reminders because my brain forgets before it happened. Other lists though are Top Ten Protest Songs of the 60's types, such as...


The Best 19 Colors of All-Time
1. Orange
1. Green
3. Indigo
4. Grey
5. Gray
(merely a sample, yet increasingly accurate)


The Top 5 Reasons to End Sentences With An Ellipsis
1. No end-of-sentence punctuation is passe, as is ending sentences with correct punctuation
2. Less than and more than three dots looks sloppy
3. Yeah, you know, it's like, um...
4. Question marks can require an answer which is a LOT of unecessary work
5. You can end one sentence with an ellipsis and then start the next sentence with another one......like this, which is fun.


Why Ranking Things Is A Valid Use of My Time
1. It is NOT a valid use of your time. You have so many other things you could be doing to move yourself forward Brian
2. You're right

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Sometimes, yeah, it's definitely weird and backwards.... 

--- "So wait. You're saying someone wearing a Michelin Man costume draped in a neon pink cape with a sombrero walking on stilts tossing preblown animal-shaped balloons and old-style Gameboys out of a cornucopia playing something that sounded like an electric guitar but looked more like a harmonica, spinning colored plates on sticks, collecting scattered, recyclable debris to promote "Earth Day Every Day" went walking down Main St. during rush hour with the finesse of an Olympic figure skater and the charming combination humor to the tune of Kevin James and Sinbad has just donated $1,000 to the library, freshly painted the gazebo, and has entered this year's chili cookoff?

--- "Yeah. Those tomatoes for our recipe had better be right off the vine"

I'm feeling really good. So good that if you told me the world was ending I'd have to try to make it stop...

Q ~ How many meter maids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A ~ Way, way, wayyyyy too many!

Often when I walk and start looking around at things I don't look to see what's in front. I'll step on the most unlevel, uneven chunk of sidewalk propped up at a 60 degree angle and violently trip and stumble in a manor brings me close to falling to the ground. I usually catch myself by grabbing that randomly placed metal pole in the ground or I keep trying to grasp something that doesn't exist and continue frantically flapping my hands down until I end up lucking out with a mailbox leg. The embarassment is 10x worse than the bruises I would have had from hitting the conrete. And if I do fall all the way down (like if Paul Bunyan or another giant person fell...and not that I, or you, are that big, but the act of toppling has to add inches and pounds to people. The smack is just too heavy. Just because the Biophysics II professor disagrees doesn't mean there has been the necessary research and testing) I have the initial reaction of being so very thankful that I landed on my hands, and not my face. But then after about 3 minutes I can't help but become preoccupied with the thin cuts and scuff marks on my palms and the horrid anticipation of blisters. Like when you are out camping and the weather turns unseasonably cold so you make a fire, which feels sooo toasty and nice, but then after those three minutes it's kind of like "too hot" and the smoke is blowing right into your face and you've realized there are no s'mores.Which is why I've recently taken to walking through peoples' yards. It's homey and provides a better cushion for the hands.

What I want, is not to gain in intellect or fortune, reason or worth. Not to be published or credited, fulfilled or traveled. Not to be forgiven or loved, chosen or remembered. What I want is make a really crazy, long, original palindrome.

My Bucket List - also known as, "Things I'd Like to Do Before I Die"

1. Don't think too far ahead, such as when thinking of things to do before you  die

Old World Trench Harmony

And it's been done
A fellow failure donated his orchard to the half-wise sailors
Sprawled out for everyone to see, and all to hear
The cramped roots were yours and you made them thick
The stream flows yellow

And the clouds came up bubbling juicy
He looked up and his hyes rolled backwards for the summer lovers
Each with his and her own megaphone draped casually
Like the proton equation
Like the reaming, bubbling juice
Like the aquatic acorn - afloat and always laughing

" Those who are, are themselves. Those who cut-loose, let it burn and smile. "

o TALK  o  AND  o   LISTEN  o NICELY o
o  FOR   o   THE  o  FUTURE   o  
o TO  o  MAKE  o  IT  o  HAPPEN  o  NOW   o

Forecasting great deeds and speed ahead of us, we run...

Drawstrings for Elderly

It's really only tattered and a patch will do
A leather or nylon sheath
And the longpole stick we carry our garbage bags of belongings in
Are heavied with unnecessities; half-cooked eggs and dull-ink pennies



The floats are in town
And the patch we sewed strong was strong yesterday
And the stiltmen are happy to see you and hand out the dull-ink pennies
As they cover them with fruit

What I want for Chrismas next year is an hour of 60 deja vu bursts, one after another, each lasting a minute. I'm also sure this will be a good precursor leading into a more successful New Year's resolution.

We spend much time bubbling, waxing, and relaxing. And we know it. The time, it keeps bulldozing. And it rips up tiny, barely new trees in its path. Those trees are small and virgin. Small enough to make a child's pool stick. They coulda grew up tall and thick to be telephone posts; now just childrens pool sticks.
 I don't own a gun, but I want to buy one to blow out the tires of that bulldozer and stop it in its path. I also want one so I can get myself real dirty and sweaty and put streaks of red food coloring on my ripped, white cardigan then go down to the docks and yell tormented things then throw the gun into the river. And cry. And then take a long shower.

Time never passes. It only exists to create existential blog posts.

Creating and knowing your own....the ultimate hand-in-hand. Putting it out for others is even more.

Panic and Javelin

The decomposed earth
And it's wiley buttercup fortunes have escaped
It's awake and stirred
And the connecting plane tickets are printed and shipped
Overnight gauranteed

The things                                Are easily,
we do to    ~~~~~~~~> and even easier,
ourselves                                 forgotten   

         

In the end, above all else, we are.

Which is less hip? Saying "air conditioning" instead of "A.C" ? Or. Saying "text messaging" instead of "texting" ?
Orrr...bringing up your "Sony Walkman CD Player" in conversation while listening to your Sony Walkman CD Player ? Trust me, I'm at fault for all three, so don't be bashful...

Rhyming words and cattle herds and third-place placards and birds, black birds, blue birds, red birds, swords (if you say it in a kind of depressed, Ohio/Michigan/Nelly (the musician) accent...sirrrrds), big ole chewy milky cottage cheese curds, Slavic Serbs, gerbs (gerbels), turb(ulence), slurb (a more powerful, determined, slurp), churb (a more powerful, determined chirp), bird churbs....
....I've realized my urd sound has become urb. Oh turd(urb)s

Going against my own grain; wheat as it may be, I'm into barley and it might be the only way out

Secrets of the Above Ground Octopus

The gelled water had a ready-made metal mold
The kind you find hanging around the outdoorsman's factory
It was strewn with gladiator buttresses and heavy concrete
And it took on opposite shaped osmosis

The octopus didn't lie about the mold
It followed the directions for the water, the lime-colored water
Insert only ounces

And as it sat it thought, "Pleasures have a way of working backwards"
And the card castle stood flimsy but strong
Supported by the glue of the concrete. And a ripped ribbon

If we got to know the F keys at the top of the keyboard better we would see they are unique, fun, and at times, compelling. True, they kind of do their own thing, sometimes completely separated from the central, more often used, part of the keyboard, but that doesn't mean they aren't special and should be left to themselves (a good comparison would be Australians...).  They have bright, interesting personas and life stories that rival that of the | or the ` . They like going to the circus, Bon Jovi, and to have a cold one at the end of the day. They put money on the lottery, forget to wash their hands after going to the bathroom when they're in a rush, and use too many plastic grocery bags. They're like us and we should invite them to the block party at the end of the month. Giving them a chance is the least we could do...

I once told someone, as I chugged down Orange Crush, "All you need is an orange to make orange juice. Nothing more".

They called me then a hippocrite, because I was drinking the fizzcoction.

I said, "Exactly".

Riding my own horse of course isn't as safe of course, but that horse of course is the only one I have to ride the course.

Sometimes we wait so long for things to happen
   Letting things happen is even more a virtue
     Because it's never challenging to breath
        And the worst of the vultures died
           Without the relapse we hide
               Now I sit here waiting
                 For this multi-lined
                     Downward
                       Triangle
                         To end
                                                      : )
                     

  

If you made a big glove out of marshmallows then wore the glove and held it over a fire it would just be so neat...

Always it was and is everywhere and everyone.

I figure, I hit my head on a chandelier after carelessly standing up and not looking about once every few months. It happens to a lot of us. So conservatively, say, 3 times a year at once every four months. Multiply 3 by how many years left you might expect to live. For me, I expect to hit my head 147 more times.

Crippled and Sweet

All of the above equals a joker
And all of the midlines equal a pointer
Pointing for a sore future
It's only bitter and crippled and sweet
But that's all it is

I've never met anything I didn't like.

The word "lanyard" is fun to say aloud, but it's even more fun to hear spoken in a nasly north central Ohioan accent.

The number 5 is one worth thinking about. Stars have five points. Ten has been an important number in history and half of it is 5. Eating five hotdogs on an empty stomach will probably satisfy. High fives make even the worst athletes feel accomplished in their trials. Michelle Fiveffer is very attractive. $5 will get you 100 five cent somethings. If you are using the caveman method of counting by drawing vertical lines in groups, when you get to 4 or | | | | , you can make it an even five with a  / . Spelled backwards, "five" is EVIF, or The American Cancer Institute's Emergency Virus Isolation Facility. Spelled forwards "five" is FIVE, or Five Is Very Effin' cool.

"I've always wondered if it's possible"

"If what's possible? Forcibly changing one's own disliked inner workings into a more fully pleasing, fully realized self?"

"I don't even know what that means. I was talkin' about a body air conditioner. Like, a.c. in the house and car is nice, but when you're out walkin' around, you still get hot you know? Like some suit, like a thin cotton space suit filled with cool air."

Bring on the moderate leg scrapers and rubberneck stranglers. Inconveniences can be fun.

Q ~ How many farts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A ~ Twots.

My head is so large and heavy. What I see isn't.

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I guess, well, I think we're all going up and up...

I think it would be funny to put "No Loitering" signs on busses.

Cones, like ice cream cones or orange Dept. of Transportation contruction cones, or any cones...I kind of want to stack a whole lot of them. It's so satisfying - an endless pattern that reaches to the heavens.

You know how if you stare at a silver metal fence for a long time you get that metallic, bitter sensation and taste in your eyes and mouth, and sometimes you have to do a quick blink of the eye and twitter of the head and neck, similar to the movements following eating a really sour candy, and how it zaps a 3-second headache into your brain along with visions of black euphoria?

There's that. There's also how we say "you know..." and assume others do. Explaining, and sharing, and finding the common force before the fact, is starting to prove beneficial in making for a better conversation.

I don't know...I wouldn't mind community-style toilets in public restrooms. Why have the dividers? Often, especially in malls and stadiums and arenas, after eating the clumpy, cheesy food that's paired with those kinds of places is the need for a longer-than-average toilet sit. And if you're gonna be there for 10 minutes, and don't have anyone to text message, and have expired all of your lazy, boredom, mind-wandering thoughts while at one of those kinds of places, a potty buddy is a good friend at that moment. What do the dividers do anyway? They dont't block the smell. All they do is block the cringe. And we all cringe, so we might as well chat it up. I bet I would know 10 more solid jokes if I had been talking to the people on the toilet next to me. And I sure as heck would know the best detour around the accident on the highway...

Unfortuately, the tables have turned. Fortunately, my mind is the only thing controlling the tables.

The world around me sometimes...I don't know if it's up or down, right or wrong, black or red or white or blue...

  :  ) 


(The beginning to a paragraph describing my perceived solemn, dismal state of mind when suddenly I realized I wasn't that at all and it was a waste of time to think so)

Q ~ What did the string quartet use as a means of peaceful intervention?

A ~ Anti-violins.

Solid Birth of the Hymnal

The ice is frozen
And we, everybody, and them wanted it to melt in the past
"It was healthy and vibrant if it melts"
And it being solid was trapped in a hemlock, locked from the roots up
Leaves and all, and all was ice
And we decided it was time to turn the chlorophyll over to the Freezer Society
Let them decide


That was too easy
And too much too late
We took the reigns over form the hemlock and gave back our grief to the hatter
It's healtheir and vibrant if it stays frozen we now know well

Dad's say smart things: Edition #2

"You know, like when you're talking to somebody and they don't understand, but you do. You know, like your sense of speech" - (actual quote from a real Dad)

We, us non-Dads, have been taught  (or should I say, lead to believe) that there are five senses...hearing, smelling, seeing, feeling, and tasting. However, in 2006 three intellgent Ivy League calibur, but not actually Ivy League, universities discovered there was a very un-Haley Joel Osment sixth sense...the sense of speech. The testing was vigorous, the funding was low, but the results were irresputable. The sense of speech was determined to be a full-blown sense.
This further proves Dads know everything everybody else doesn't. 

Hope's umbrella is a steel armory.

I've finally reached it: myself. I hope it lasts.....

Q ~ How many U.S. states does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A ~ One. pennSYLVANIA

Dads say things that perhaps on the outside, initially sound not so complex. But I've yet to hear something come out of a Dad's mouth that was not thoughtful, intelligent, and perceptive when taken with open ears.

Example #1
(When referring to a sports team, such as pro football)
"They're either gonna win or lose"

An unarguably proficient, precise comment that requires no second guessing with which it's cut-and-dry demenor could be applied to many other things in life.

Stay tuned. Dads say smart things.

Nice mice splice rice? Nice mice slice rice.
False rhyming mouse etiquette

There are endless countups happening everyday, all the time. And I'm very thankful, especially when the countdown becomes so striking.

Q ~ What poet was known for going off topic into tangents during conversation?


A ~ Divirgil

There is an old saying that says first impressions last a lifetime. There's another that says it's unfair to forget about all the other impressions.

I was blabbing with some birds the other day, a few barn swallows and a sparrow, about this, that, and the other. Then the subject of color came up. Basically racial identity and how we identify ourselves alongside our co-brothers. This part of the convo stayed light-hearted until I pointed out humans have far fewer skin colors compared to birds and their higher variation in feather colors. They all agreed, but then one of the barn swallows poked that, although, yes birds come in many color variations, but people should stop attaching false truths to specific bird colors. They all looked at me with almost icy, dissapointed eyes. I didn't know how this all was related to the amount of bird colors, but I went along, half determined and half flustered. Before I could even give my two cents, the sparrow jumped in and asked me if I thought dark brownish black was a color of hope, joy, and love...and I said no. He then said, "no it ain't, and you no why? Cause it's the color of (expletive)!" And I just tilted my head up, then down at a slow, tilted pace with a wry grin to confirm. "Well", he asked, "then why do people think doves are so special? ".

Reaching Doctors

All taken and all scraped there is a vine twist
We shed out noise and our boys to a higher elemental doctrine, there on top the blueberries
Writing scripts and shredding Rx
Do we have a vision for it? Or, have we no vision?


It's up to the anesthesia and broken weepers
As the thread is needled and we scope our cotton paintings
A man arrives
Glued to his sheets with fuzzy earplugs
He knows what's best, and sometimes, listening is all we can do, or all we do do, and it happens

I like finishing things I haven't started. It's easier and faster and more enjoyable, because the stress is X'ed due to not having to start or carry out the process. Doing things takes way too much time...for now, I'm happy with finishing.

If I fronted a college, alternative rock band in 1985, during the reign of Midwesten/Southern Appalachian U.S. undergound bands that would later become known as the orginators of "alternative rock", I would use these lines for a chrorus in one of our songs. Probably track #3, because it would be the song to carry you through and onto track #7, our hopeful single.

"There are times I
Start to wonderrr...
Who I am, and
Who I w-ant to beee..."

There would then be lots of mandolin, snare, and humming.

Q ~ How many tuna does is take to screw in a light bulb?


A ~ Tuna half.

I wonder if the average person knows there is no such thing.

Q ~ What did the patient say to the doctor when he was asked what part of his face should be evaluated first?


A ~ Eyesnnose, you tell me, you're the doctor.

Imagine thirteen, or maybe more, sheep spread and scattered throughout a straw-covered area, not really a field, but more of an area, and there are kids holding each others' hands in perfectly arranged circles and squares and heptagons (they are practicing for the first geometry "pop" quiz that was supposed to be a true pop quiz but it was announced by accident by the teacher), and there's an old, but for some reason not rusted, cannon (because most of these areas that aren't fields have cannons or other noticable weapons and I think people accept that it was a revolutionary battleground or something like that) next to midday fires cooking hotdogs and beans and melting syrups for ice cones that will be eaten throughout the entire day, but mostly eaten after playing badmitten and  karaoke that some people joke will be the first ever outdoor karaoke singoff, even though it probably won't be, but doesn't matter because these kinds of events do not require you to think twice about making jokes.

I want to check that imagination out.

Q ~ What did the cabby do after he shot his prize-winning buck?

A ~ He took it to the taxidermist.

Apex Flingshot

The tired Peter drips off to sleep in his vest; his tight-knit polyester Venecian vest
His legs knotted
His eyes drooped
His stomach filled
With the best parts of each left without him
And the weakest begotten from the ashy torpedo loopers

Dry it out and calm down
His old, wet desire is washed and coming up around the bend
It's like black and brown molasses
Not thick, but thicker

Just when you think you are halfway home, a tattered bulldog approaches you, barks in a grumbly way, like he has a furball, even though that's more associated with cats, but that's what it sounds like, and says, "you've been home the entire journey, but you'll never be there and you'll never see your home, but you're there right now".

I feel good, as if I could run marathon after marathon. Or at least a mile of the first marathon...

I am accidently using bold, and not really sure how the text became bold, ha, but it’s ironically wonderful as I wanted this part to be meaningful. Have a good day.

If I could go back in time I probably would not be able to decide where or what era, so I think I’d end up selling the go-back-in-time privilege and the money I got I would use to finally buy 100% wool socks and a robot that only functions to make me donuts.

Why have I bothered with over-eating, or drug use, or Scooby Doo marathons when I could've just eliminated my insecurities?

"If this is all then it's all pretty darn good", said the beaver.

"Maybe", snickered the groundhog, "but just because life is good doesn't mean you can use me as your replacement log for log running."

Inner Lessons

* Drastic change is impressively wow
*...always gravitating toward the familiar you are
* If this is all we've got then golly gimme more!
* Mistrust in the paranoia leads me speechless
* Learning is in the past if to be ahead

What are the parts of fans that swing and rotate called...? I didn't have that as a word in third grade vocabulary. I can't think of it...is there a word? It's making me nervous not knowing. Fans are so intimidating as it is; when they're tunred on they are beasts. So, I won't ask them. Not that it's vital knowledge, but I have the feeling the fan across the room is staring and if he jokes about me not knowing, I would like to come back and say I do know. Mostly because I don't like conflict - especially with fans.

Q ~ What did the doctor say to his daughter when she said she was sick and wanted to stay home from school?

A ~ Fibro my algia you're staying home!

Life can be shocking. Especially when things come at you from many directions, all at once.

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There is one thing that unifies Americans more than any other.
We've all said "amninals".

Read 10x for soothing indulgences for the brain...

Crystal flyer wing blackout trinity allegro firepower

Melting Mellow

Fourteen older brothers gathered near the blue ridge
They clapped
And clasped
They rang
And floored their each other's own blackbelts
For goodness sake they had a temper
For goodness sake they didn't clamp down handily
It was satisfactory to accept the waiting pony and it was intelligized
Like laces strung on them a viloin
Crispy and brave...

Q ~ What did the dog wife say to her clumsy husband after he came out of the bathroom?

A ~ Terrier fly's open.

Submarine Extracellular

A breeze and a dollhouse collaborate for the cake contest
And how is it produced? And how is it decorated?
The gasp for air is put forth first, only followed by a decade of screws, tabletops, and brushing for the skinny
A recipe made for queens and their heirs
The deceived jelly scraped by, only followed by a year of old screwdrivers, twisted steps, and leavening for the breakneck
The first push was never needed
It was however well appreciated, and delectabe
Keep up

Forrest Gump once told me, “Life is like vinegar…if you have a bottle, you mise well chug it down”. Then I asked him what he meant by that. I asked him for two reasons. The first reason was that I didn’t know how smart that would be – could be harsh on the stomach ‘n stuff. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I really enjoy that the taste on salads, and then it soaks into the croutons, and gives them a very unique flavor only straight-up acid could supply. But drinking it in a mega quantity I think wood beea challenge. The second reason was, I didn’t really know quite the connection with the drinking of the vinegar and how it’s like life. His response to both was that he didn’t truly think there was a connection…but just wanted to see how I reacted.

That was interesting. I came soooo close to trying to continue the conversation, but then we just agreed on banana’s foster and a game of chess…