Lemonade Frosties

If I curated a TV interview personalities show that put me behind a desk and the personalities in chairs near me, I would start each show with a different opening. Today’s, or rather, tonight’s, opening would be, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, are you juiced for a zap zoominin’ fun time???!!”. I would then go back stage and quit, because they told me through the video prompting teleprompter I would be fired for not following script. If I had more time, I would have done something more elaborate to end my tenure on. What could I’ve did instead?? I think I would have (if I had would have had more time to plan my big exit…) rolled over the flight of stairs on wheels the cameramen use to achieve “from above” angles and the set crew use to build the hard-to-reach set pieces and then I would climb to the stop and hope I had a Slinky in my suit pocket and let it plop down each step. When it got to the bottom I’d write a message across the compacted Slinky so that when it was pulled apart you couldn’t tell what it said, but then you could push it back together and see the written words. Then I would throw it into the audience. The message would say, “Use this as a beer holder and you’ll be hotter than 90210 when you walk the streets”. I would have been long gone and flagged a taxi down, but at lease I didn’t give into the prescripted teleprompter...